Post by Made2LuvU on Aug 1, 2006 11:12:15 GMT -5
Chapter Re-Write
Book: Hardy Boys Undercover Brother #7, Operation Survival
Re-Write of Chapter Seven
**Joe**
Chapter Seven: A Lesson in Pain
I struggled to swallow a bite of my fish. It's not that it was bad. Actually, I could taste a sort of exotic flavor...maybe lemon or something. It was astounding. Someone on my team could actually cook.
It's just...I was getting all these venemous looks from the guys in my bunk. I knew what they meant. Those looks let me know something bad was going to happen. To me. And soon.
Well, it's not like I hadn't practically begged for it. I mean, it was our plan to see how far these guys would go. But that didn't make this part of the plan any easier.
I tossed my paper plate, along with my hardly touched fish into the campfire. I watched, as if in a daze, as the flames popped and crackled. Then I got up to use one of those holes I'd blistered my hands digging.
I must have been pretty parinoid on my way through the woods. Everytime I heard wind rustling through the trees, or an owl hooting, I imagined someone was coming after me. 'Come on, Hardy,' I thought. 'Pull yourself together.'
But then--I heard a twig snap behind me. Was this it? Was I about to be ambushed on the way to the so-called toilet? Oh, lovely. How embarassing.
A second later I felt a hand on my arm. This was it. I was about to be pummeled into a pulp. Heart beating madly, I spun around.
And saw my brother.
"Frank!" I sighed. Then I glared at him. "What were you trying to do, give me a heart attack?"
"Sorry," Frank said defensively. "But I had to talk to you alone." He paused, then said, "Your plan worked, little brother. James has organized a 'lesson' for you." He looked worried as he went on. "Im not sure exactly what's supposed to happen. But it's happening tonight."
"Yeah," I agreed. "He pretty much told me that when I got you gusy assigned that second hike."
I tried to look like nothing was bothering me, like I was fine. But Frank could see right through it--I guess that's something that comes from how close we are. He studied me intently for a second and must have sensed the fear that was slowly creeping through me.
"I don't like this," he admitted. "But, we have to do it." He pursed his lips in thought for a moment. "I think we need a sinal. I'm not going to let things get too intense. But if you need help and I haven't moved in yet, just say--"
"Mommy?" I suggested, trying to break some of the tension.
Too bad Frank took it as a wisecrack. "Do you always have to make a joke out of everything?" he scolded. "James could be the guy who killed Zack. And you've put yourself in his hands.
That's it for part one, part two coming soon!
Book: Hardy Boys Undercover Brother #7, Operation Survival
Re-Write of Chapter Seven
**Joe**
Chapter Seven: A Lesson in Pain
I struggled to swallow a bite of my fish. It's not that it was bad. Actually, I could taste a sort of exotic flavor...maybe lemon or something. It was astounding. Someone on my team could actually cook.
It's just...I was getting all these venemous looks from the guys in my bunk. I knew what they meant. Those looks let me know something bad was going to happen. To me. And soon.
Well, it's not like I hadn't practically begged for it. I mean, it was our plan to see how far these guys would go. But that didn't make this part of the plan any easier.
I tossed my paper plate, along with my hardly touched fish into the campfire. I watched, as if in a daze, as the flames popped and crackled. Then I got up to use one of those holes I'd blistered my hands digging.
I must have been pretty parinoid on my way through the woods. Everytime I heard wind rustling through the trees, or an owl hooting, I imagined someone was coming after me. 'Come on, Hardy,' I thought. 'Pull yourself together.'
But then--I heard a twig snap behind me. Was this it? Was I about to be ambushed on the way to the so-called toilet? Oh, lovely. How embarassing.
A second later I felt a hand on my arm. This was it. I was about to be pummeled into a pulp. Heart beating madly, I spun around.
And saw my brother.
"Frank!" I sighed. Then I glared at him. "What were you trying to do, give me a heart attack?"
"Sorry," Frank said defensively. "But I had to talk to you alone." He paused, then said, "Your plan worked, little brother. James has organized a 'lesson' for you." He looked worried as he went on. "Im not sure exactly what's supposed to happen. But it's happening tonight."
"Yeah," I agreed. "He pretty much told me that when I got you gusy assigned that second hike."
I tried to look like nothing was bothering me, like I was fine. But Frank could see right through it--I guess that's something that comes from how close we are. He studied me intently for a second and must have sensed the fear that was slowly creeping through me.
"I don't like this," he admitted. "But, we have to do it." He pursed his lips in thought for a moment. "I think we need a sinal. I'm not going to let things get too intense. But if you need help and I haven't moved in yet, just say--"
"Mommy?" I suggested, trying to break some of the tension.
Too bad Frank took it as a wisecrack. "Do you always have to make a joke out of everything?" he scolded. "James could be the guy who killed Zack. And you've put yourself in his hands.
That's it for part one, part two coming soon!
