Post by arieona on Jul 16, 2006 15:19:36 GMT -5
This is a Harry Potter parody that I've been thinking about for a while and now I'm finally able to do something with it. I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter or any other Harry Potter related characters and themes.
The Choas Begins
Far up high, in a dark room, as the wind hollowly whistled past the window and forced the floorboards to creak, as the rain fell sharply down and lightning streaked across the sky, Voldemort sat in his chair stroking Nagini. ‘Finally back,’ he thought. ‘Back to power and in a body all my own.’ An evil smile played across his face as he clenched a fist. Vengeance would be his.
He heard a low thud outside his door and felt a sharp pain in his foot. “OW!” he shouted. Strange things had been happening since he had come back: odd, unexplained pains once in a while, nothing major, but enough to annoy.
“My Lord,” called Wormtail as he slowly opened the door.
“Yes, Wormtail?”
“Well, when I made that potion, the one to bring you back to power, it seems that somehow a young girl’s hair slipped in.”
“And?” demanded Voldemort, growing impatient
“Well, your life force is attached to hers. So, if she is hurt, or even dies, so do you.”
“Sorry about your foot, Your Evilness,” said a young girl with fair colored hair and a joyful smile as she peeked out from behind Wormtail. “That silly book slipped right out of my hands.”
Voldemort glowered at this newcomer. “And who might you be?”
“I’m Alex." the girl introduced with a large smile, she paused for a moment, a small smile playing about her face, "Why don‘t you have a cool scar?”
“What on earth do you mean?!”
“Like Harry Potter.”
Not ten seconds in her presence and this stupid girl was getting under Voldemort’s skin. He threw a particularly heavy book at her. It hit her square in the chest, but it was Voldemort who felt it. “OW!!”
Wormtail winced and attempted to shuffle out of the room, but the Dark Lord had already lobbed another book in his general direction. This time it did no harm to thrower.
“So,” said Alex cheerfully, as though trying to make conversation with an extremely annoyed Lord of Evil was something she enjoyed. “When was the last time you took a bath?”
Voldemort’s red eyes narrowed. “Listen, you worm larva, you’ll shut up if you know what’s good for you.”
“You can’t hurt me.”
Voldemort knew this, and it made him even angrier.
“Hey, did you ever have a girlfriend? Like, ever?”
This completely random question caught Voldemort off guard. “Get out of here before I have you forcibly removed!”
“You can’t send me out. What if a hippogriff tramples me on the street? You can’t take that risk.”
“Get out of the ROOM!!
Alex considered it, 'Nah. This is too fun.’ she thought to herself. She tiptoed over to Voldemort’s chair and touched his hairless head. “Ooh, shiny.”
Voldemort threw a crystal ball from his desk to the floor so hard that it shattered. “OUT!!”
Alex shook a finger at him. “Poor man… you know, I know this great therapist in London…”she saw the expression on his face and hurriedly vacated the room.
The next morning, Voldemort awoke early. There was no light in his bedchamber. There was never any light, owing to the fact that it was constricted of stone and had no windows. He dressed and swept through the great hall of his mansion past a groveling Wormtail.
“Good day, my-- oh…” Wormtail turned his back to Voldemort and stifled a sblack person.
“What did you say?!”
“Erm.. Good day, my Lord. I hope you’re… faring well…”
“What’s wrong with you?!”
“Nothing, my Lord.”
“It’d better be nothing.” Voldemort glared sternly at his minion and proceeded to his study. After just a moment of silence, he looked across the table to see that pesky girl staring at him, and she appeared to be laughing.
"Why my lord, you look particularly menacing this morning." said Alex repressing a giggle.
"What?" Voldemort hissed at Alex.
"Nice glasses!" she exclaimed, her laugher bubbling to the surface. Voldemort glared at her. "See!" said Alex as she fumbled in her small pink purse for a moment and pulled up a pocket mirror and opened it for her dark lord.
"You... you... didn't!" said a furious Voldemort with wide eyes. Looking back at him in the mirror was an extremely handsome dark lord, whose face had been disgraced with black markings in the likeness of Harry Potter's glasses.
"Now you like just like-" started Alex with a large grin.
"I know who I look like!!" shouted Voldemort.
"No need to get your undies is a bunch!" exclaimed Alex as she headed towards the door, "I hope you have a simply splendid day, my lord of evilness.” Alex smiled to her self as she closed to the door. She took a moment to be sure she was alone, “This is going to be quiet enjoyable.” She whispered as she walked away.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter or any other Harry Potter related characters and themes.
The Choas Begins
Far up high, in a dark room, as the wind hollowly whistled past the window and forced the floorboards to creak, as the rain fell sharply down and lightning streaked across the sky, Voldemort sat in his chair stroking Nagini. ‘Finally back,’ he thought. ‘Back to power and in a body all my own.’ An evil smile played across his face as he clenched a fist. Vengeance would be his.
He heard a low thud outside his door and felt a sharp pain in his foot. “OW!” he shouted. Strange things had been happening since he had come back: odd, unexplained pains once in a while, nothing major, but enough to annoy.
“My Lord,” called Wormtail as he slowly opened the door.
“Yes, Wormtail?”
“Well, when I made that potion, the one to bring you back to power, it seems that somehow a young girl’s hair slipped in.”
“And?” demanded Voldemort, growing impatient
“Well, your life force is attached to hers. So, if she is hurt, or even dies, so do you.”
“Sorry about your foot, Your Evilness,” said a young girl with fair colored hair and a joyful smile as she peeked out from behind Wormtail. “That silly book slipped right out of my hands.”
Voldemort glowered at this newcomer. “And who might you be?”
“I’m Alex." the girl introduced with a large smile, she paused for a moment, a small smile playing about her face, "Why don‘t you have a cool scar?”
“What on earth do you mean?!”
“Like Harry Potter.”
Not ten seconds in her presence and this stupid girl was getting under Voldemort’s skin. He threw a particularly heavy book at her. It hit her square in the chest, but it was Voldemort who felt it. “OW!!”
Wormtail winced and attempted to shuffle out of the room, but the Dark Lord had already lobbed another book in his general direction. This time it did no harm to thrower.
“So,” said Alex cheerfully, as though trying to make conversation with an extremely annoyed Lord of Evil was something she enjoyed. “When was the last time you took a bath?”
Voldemort’s red eyes narrowed. “Listen, you worm larva, you’ll shut up if you know what’s good for you.”
“You can’t hurt me.”
Voldemort knew this, and it made him even angrier.
“Hey, did you ever have a girlfriend? Like, ever?”
This completely random question caught Voldemort off guard. “Get out of here before I have you forcibly removed!”
“You can’t send me out. What if a hippogriff tramples me on the street? You can’t take that risk.”
“Get out of the ROOM!!
Alex considered it, 'Nah. This is too fun.’ she thought to herself. She tiptoed over to Voldemort’s chair and touched his hairless head. “Ooh, shiny.”
Voldemort threw a crystal ball from his desk to the floor so hard that it shattered. “OUT!!”
Alex shook a finger at him. “Poor man… you know, I know this great therapist in London…”she saw the expression on his face and hurriedly vacated the room.
The next morning, Voldemort awoke early. There was no light in his bedchamber. There was never any light, owing to the fact that it was constricted of stone and had no windows. He dressed and swept through the great hall of his mansion past a groveling Wormtail.
“Good day, my-- oh…” Wormtail turned his back to Voldemort and stifled a sblack person.
“What did you say?!”
“Erm.. Good day, my Lord. I hope you’re… faring well…”
“What’s wrong with you?!”
“Nothing, my Lord.”
“It’d better be nothing.” Voldemort glared sternly at his minion and proceeded to his study. After just a moment of silence, he looked across the table to see that pesky girl staring at him, and she appeared to be laughing.
"Why my lord, you look particularly menacing this morning." said Alex repressing a giggle.
"What?" Voldemort hissed at Alex.
"Nice glasses!" she exclaimed, her laugher bubbling to the surface. Voldemort glared at her. "See!" said Alex as she fumbled in her small pink purse for a moment and pulled up a pocket mirror and opened it for her dark lord.
"You... you... didn't!" said a furious Voldemort with wide eyes. Looking back at him in the mirror was an extremely handsome dark lord, whose face had been disgraced with black markings in the likeness of Harry Potter's glasses.
"Now you like just like-" started Alex with a large grin.
"I know who I look like!!" shouted Voldemort.
"No need to get your undies is a bunch!" exclaimed Alex as she headed towards the door, "I hope you have a simply splendid day, my lord of evilness.” Alex smiled to her self as she closed to the door. She took a moment to be sure she was alone, “This is going to be quiet enjoyable.” She whispered as she walked away.
